Mental Health Awareness Month is upon us. But why? Why bother? You probably will not read this anyway. You will just keep doom scrolling.

I have never been much of a cheerleader. I do not get too excited about things. For a while I wondered if that was a shyness thing. Now I think it is something else. Battle-worn people, jaded if you want to call it that, tend to enjoy things with a side-eye of skepticism and find struggle oddly comforting. Hardship fits like a familiar pair of jeans.

So there will be no fanfare here. And no public trauma dump to fish for pity, or some fake, short-lived, emotion-driven interest in mental health. If you want my story, ask. This is just an extension of what I already do as a therapist. I hold up a mirror, so you, dear reader, might catch a glimpse of something that needs adjusting.

Resilience Is Not a Decision, It Is a Practice

My focus right now is personal resilience. And resilience is not something you can simply decide to have. Like most things worth having, it takes precise effort applied consistently.

Here is the annoying part. The work that actually moves the needle is small and unglamorous, so we overlook it and shrug it off. It is also hard and boring, if we are being honest.

I could wake up early on Saturday and balance my budget. Or I could sleep in. There is a salad I could eat at home. Or there are the chicken tendies with a side of ranch, which is usually the decision getting made as I pull up to the drive-thru.

Mental Health Awareness Is a Blessing and a Curse

It is easier to be blind to things than to be aware of them. Awareness cuts both ways. It is the whole reason “ignorance is bliss” became a saying.

I wake up, look in the mirror, and notice the mess. Then I get to feel the particular pain of knowing there is work to do.

Awareness is finding out you have had cilantro in your teeth for the last three hours at a networking event. The hindsight sting of your own ignorance, smacking you in the face, altering you forever. Pain has a way of making us remember.

None of the inspirational stories you will hear this month will matter if the person hearing them never takes a long, hard look in the mirror and decides to do better. So pick something. Start.

Can’t see anything that needs work? Go ask a teenager in your life if you are perfect.

What To Do If You Don’t Know Where To Start

Don’t have the strength to look, or the know-how to fix what you see? That is what therapy is for. Learning to re-parent yourself as an adult. Fix your sleep. Clean up your diet. Move your body. Tend to your relationships. Figure out what actually fulfills you. Get acquainted with who you could be at your best.

And therapists, hear me. Do better. I am tired of apologizing to my clients for the disappointing therapy they got before they found me, and I am amazed they were willing to give therapy another chance at all. We can do better. Truly.

This is less of a pep rally and more of a war cry. Life is short, and this is too important for froufrou niceties. That is what raising awareness actually looks like. Everybody hurts. We are all lonely sometimes. And we all long to live differently than we do.

Your First Step

Want to become resilient? Do something hard.

Can’t? Learn new ways of coping.

Don’t know how? Find someone who does.

Don’t know anyone? That is exactly what therapists are for.

That first phone call, email, or text could be the first step toward becoming the person you keep telling yourself you want to be.

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